4th September 1894
The Official Kalgoorlie Town Recipe (Serves: one booming gold city)
Ingredients
· 4 survey pegs, one very determined beard
· 2 camels (house-broken), 1 barrow of rumours
· A fistful of quartz that definitely looks promising
· 1 street name (Hannan), 4 gallons of optimism
· Pinch of red dust (to taste)
Method
1. Pre-heat the Goldfields to “scorching”. If the horizon shimmers, you’re ready.
2. Add Surveyor Alfie Pegg, who bangs in markers like he’s tenderising steak. Locals gather, nod, and claim moral ownership of every hole in a five-mile radius.
3. Fold in Bluey the cameleer, clomping past a half-painted sign: Hannan Street. He swears the camels know the pub already. They probably do.
4. Whisk in Shazza the barber, who offers “beard trims for men and triumphant lodes”. She charges extra for bragging.
5. Stir until shopfronts appear like mushrooms after rain. If mushrooms won’t grow in 42° heat, use timber instead.
6. Season with arguments from Boulder about who found what first. (Answer: someone’s uncle. It’s always an uncle.)
7. Simmer until the postmaster can forward letters and gossip in equal measure.
Serve at sunset with a side of brass band and someone yelling, “We’ve been gazetted!” If the dust sticks to your teeth and the camels wink at you, congratulations—you’ve made Kalgoorlie. Best enjoyed hot, loud and slightly boastful.
* as depicted by AI - may not factually be correct